Saturday, December 24, 2005

we're going to party like it's 1995

It was an informal reunion of my Junior High class. Yeah, not that I would like to reminisce my junior high years, but I missed the party during Thanksgiving, and the pictures looked so fun, I had to show up. I was so nervous, thinking back to all the insecurity and awkwardness of Junior High, and High School, come to think of it. But, I am so thankful I went. It was amazing to see how much people have changed, and yet hadn't changed either. I really felt like I could see what parts of people chose to bring with them into adulthood. To see who is still living with their parents, who is doing jobs they like, who are doing jobs they hate. Who is going to medical school, who is in law school. And two of the biggest screw-ups (by self admission) are now going to Columbia and Stanford for grad school (and they made my life such torture during group projects, where is the fairness in that?). And then there is me. I learned that I actually do have something to talk about. Even though no one has ever heard of SPU, I'm doing something I love, in a city I love, and that's what people want to hear about. They ask me about what I want to study, and I sound smart, throwing around sociological terms. No one cares that I'm only drinking water, and that I still play by the rules. Some of the cool kids were excited to see me, and there were still a few I wasn't brave enough to go up to and strike up a conversation with (not necessarily because I'm 100% wuss, more just because I wanted to offer more than "hey, what have you been up to for the last decade?" and I didn't have anything else). I left beaming, not just because I ran into my two biggest crushes (and I know with a bit of eyeliner and short hair I am a step up from my big t-shirt wearing days) and they both wanted my number (hee), but really because I am really glad that life for me isn't an extension of junior high and high school. I'm glad I have grown out of my awkwardness of those seven years, and that these last seven years have been years of growth and accomplishment. I was proud of who I was, of what I am, and where I am going. And not living with my parents still is a nice bonus.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Once a queen of Narnia, always a queen of Narnia

And Narnia did not disappoint. It was too amazing to really attempt a typed explanation, so just go see it, and tell me when you do because I'll go see it with you, again and again and again. And when it comes out on DVD I'm going to buy it and watch it everymorning.
I left the movie very unsettled, disappointed that I do not have noble adventures to go on, no magical wardrobes to walk through. I think that is the trouble with me and movies, I get so caught up in it, that I am usually disappointed when I leave. Life seems so much more worthwhile with a swelling soundtrack behind it. Thus, the charm of the cinema and why theaters can get away with charging $9.50 a pop.
As we were driving away, I realized that, I do have options to go on noble adventures, and if I really chose to look at life that way, every day can be a noble adventure. I know more than many how much life is a gift, and how blessed I am in my current surroundings, with plenty of people I love and who love me. Who am I to say I do not have the opportunity to do anything noble? Life can be intentional and meaningful without musical interludes, but it takes a continuous choice, and a lot of energy. I just wish I could keep this feeling beyond rolling out of bed tomorrow morning, because I can guarantee that the beeping alarm with be a little more salient than this stirring I have at the moment. But, I've already started a list of noble things I can do, we'll see if that helps this stick.
The other thing deep within my ponderings as we drove down Aurora, was my wish for such clear cut sides of right and wrong. During the battles, there was an obvious enemy (easily definable by their natty hair and general lack of good hygiene, I learned that you can't base it on appearance of "ugly" alone, in the background of one scene, I saw a warthog clearly taking out a hag, heh) and there was an obvious "right" side, led by Aslan. I found myself wishing that the wars we see today were as clear as Aslan vs. the White Witch. But there is so much history, so much divisiveness, so much greed and corruption and clouded morals on both side of every argument, it's hard sometimes to choose sides. And to choose when it is appropriate to choose sides. And then, once again I realized, that there is a war going on, where the lines are already drawn, the the "sides" are much more clear. Silly Lynn, Narnia is for allegories. Good and evil. Love and hate. At the heart of every war, every fight, there is something deeper, working within both sides. And, I am so glad that the battle has already been won, although it might not be over just yet. As much as my sociologist murmurings are still cautious of declaring absolute right and wrong (I think we as fallen beings are limited in our understandings of absolutes), I know it is right to draw a line with "to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God" (Micah 6:8b). And you can draw your sword to that.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

a girls sleepover

There are moments, random moments when I realize how thankful I am to be in this season of life. Of course, there are plenty of times when the lack of stability, not having Mom and Dad to make all the hard decisions for you (and to pay all the bills), the moving every year, and stuff. But then, like tonight, I am just struck with how much I love being able to determine my own schedule, know my decisions won't really impact everyone else, and buying your own toilet paper. And now, ladies and gentleman, the explanation:
Tonight was a girls night. Darbee bought all of us tickets to the Nutcracker for a Christmas present. It's so thrilling to get gussied up, have a reason to curl my hair, and put lip liner on (and not have to stress about whether he's going to call you back later on in the week). Although we sat in front of the family that won the award for most disruptive in the history of ballet, it was beautiful. And then we went out for dessert/drinks for even more fabulous girl time. We went back to Darbee's for a slumber party and when I was getting ready for bed, it hit me (actually inspired by seeing a package of toilet paper in her bathroom) and my thought was "it's so great to be a grown up and buy your own toilet paper" which really is the Lynn thought-process equivalent of "it's so great to be a grown up and be able to throw a pair of pajama pants and a toothbrush in a bag....ok, and toothpaste, face wash, night moisturizer, contact solution and case, and glasses, and hang out with your favorite girlfriends by a fireplace (and watching Colin Firth on a large TV screen) and to just enjoy each other's company." My decisions impact me, and there isn't anyone who is going to be seriously impacted by the fact that I'm staying here at Darbees. For as much as the angst of life right now is hard, not knowing what is next, not settling down too much because you know your lease is up in July, etc... It is something to be living for yourself, not in a selfish way, but simply because you are only obligated to yourself and the time being. In our toast, Darbee toasted to "the family you choose" and that hit the nail on the head. Although I have been truly blessed by all of the family I didn't choose, God has brought amazing girlfriends into my life right now. There is something to be valued in this season of life, and I hope I can really drink it all up before it is time for the next season of life.

Monday, December 05, 2005

I'm taking an informal poll....

Would you judge me horribly if I bought the new perfume by J.Lo? I was shopping this weekend at Alderwood and they were forcing scented pieces of cardboard on us (someone actually chased us down to hand it to us), but I liked it, the fragrance, not the saleswoman accosting us. It’s called “Live,” which I can’t decide which definition it is: “live” as in, you live the fast life when you wear fragrance endorsed by J.Lo. Or is it “live” like, it smells just like the excitement you feel to see J.Lo perform live on MTV. Either one would work. It’s kind of fruity, in a good way. It would just be for special occasions, like unveilings of blueprints of excellence, arches, and the such. Could I live down the shame of actually owning a J.Lo product? But, because I’m a nerd (and had nothing better to do at work), I did some Google searching to see how much it would cost, and I found a website where it said “$0.00” for a 1.7 bottle. I thought it was a typo, but when I went to the shopping cart, it totally didn’t charge me anything, so I only paid $5 in shipping. Is that wrong? To take advantage of a poor lackey’s mistake. Or maybe, J.Lo was really speaking the truth when she sang “My Live don’t cost a thing.” (but then of course, you simply stare at a word too long (because you are trying to think of clever context sentences and the word looks like gibberish and you are certain it’s all wrong, but there isn’t a red squiggly line (which is the ultimate authority on all things spelling and the sole reason I will never do well on the essay questions on the GRE) so you have to trust the computer rather than your spelling instincts that you never really trusted in the first place. Anyways, you’ll have to smell me sometime when I’m wearing it and let me know.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

snow snow snow!

and Darbee is my favoritest date ever. (hint: these aren't related)