Thursday, October 26, 2006

Things I was supposed to say yesterday and today but couldn't because I have no voice:

  • Yes, I am here at the bank to check if I my ATM card has arrived yet. It hasn't? Why is it taking over 3 weeks to come?
  • No, I don't know what that mattress is doing in our hallway.
  • Why yes, I am very pleased with my internet service. Thank you so much for calling and checking. No, I don't have any questions.
  • To work the washing machine? You need to push the green button.
  • No, I don't have any 20p coins, I used all mine for the dryer.
  • No, the tube stop is two more blocks down, this is the bus stop. Hense, the buses.
  • Yes, Professor, I do have something significant and insightful to share with the seminar class.
  • No, thanks. I don't want you to buy me a drink. No, really.
  • Yes, Ms. Bouncer lady, that is chicken in the bag I am holding. No, I do not have any weapons on my person.
  • Excuse me, while you stand in front of the library turn-style looking for your student card, I would like to pass through.
  • Greetings flatmate, your cooking smells really good. Thanks, but I already ate my noodles with butter.
  • Well, I was thinking about returning to Jitsu again, but then I realized, you almost made me cry last time, so... no.

Instead, what they heard was "squeekum, squeeker squeekity squeek."

Hopefully, what I'll be able to say tomorrow (without the squeakage) in two separate classes is "Yes, since it is my turn to lead this seminar class in discussion, I had some very complex and graduate level thoughts about the following material....." Fingers crossed.


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